WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU JUST CAN'T

 

Can't sleep. Can't find your smile. Can't get motivated. Can't pull yourself together. Can't get dinner started. Can't seem to find the right words. Can't breathe.

Since I started this journey of fighting cancer, I've had a lot of "can'ts," and honestly, at times, it makes me feel a bit down. And I know I'm not the only one. Whether dealing with cancer or other difficulties in life like job stress, money stress, family stress, or any other health issues... sometimes the motivation to fight seems futile.

My natural state is one of positivity and striving for excellence in my day-to-day life, including keeping up my home with my husband's help and through hospitality. But these days, I often feel like I just can't.

Or can I? Because sometimes mind really can win over matter.

I've found that your mindset can make a huge difference, and even the little things can help you be more productive in accomplishing your goals, even if things look a bit different than you thought they would.

Here are some tips to get out of your funk and get back to being functional.

Making your Bed

First, start slow in the morning. I'm a big proponent of making your bed each day, but after my surgery, it was hard to fancy it up like I usually did, with throw pillows, a quilt and a throw blanket at the base, all topped off with a decorative tray. So, I put all the extras in the linen closet, and now I simply pull up the sheet and our coziest-ever blanket (I use it as a comforter) over our sleeping pillows at the top, and the bed is complete. Perhaps not as pretty, but an accomplishment nonetheless.

A Daily Uniform

Another way you can make things easier is by streamlining your clothing. I have what I call my daily "uniform," consisting of a comfortable black shirt and pants. I have about eight of each, and I just grab one each morning. It makes it so simple to get dressed, and then when I run errands or go to church, I can change into some nicer clothing if I'd like to. But in my day-to-day life, this one outfit has made all the difference in making things feel more doable.

The black shirt that I buy from Loft by Lou & Grey can be found here. I recommend sizing down. This is the most cozy shirt (they call it a sweatshirt), and it looks perfectly put together. Plus, it washes well and continues to look new even after many times in the dryer.

The pants that I wear from Blair can be found here, or the drawstring version can be found here, also in black. This might seem like an "old lady" company; however, I've really liked these pants. They are good quality and very inexpensive. Ignore the photos with the models; the pants look much nicer in person.

Laundry

Another way to keep things simpler around the house is with laundry. I have only one set of sheets per bed. That means when it's time to wash my sheets, they must be washed, dried, and put right back on the bed instead of piling up in the laundry room. This also helps save money in the long run, as I use one set of sheets until they wear out. By doing this, I can afford to buy the really good sheet sets like you find at Garnet Hill. One caveat: I always buy two extra sets of pillowcases, as we change those out every other day.

Paperwork and Bills

Bills, paperwork, magazines, and newspapers are also big sources of clutter and can overwhelm you if you let them pile up. This is why I have everything automated. I only write a check if I have a service done at my home and our yearly property taxes and HOA fees. Everything else is paid automatically. I even tithe online with a bit extra to cover the credit card fees.

These days, I never bring the mail into the house. We have a large garbage can with a liner in the garage, and I throw away all the junk mail before I enter the front door. I file away the things I need immediately so they don't stack up on the kitchen island or dining room table. I have one drawer that has important paperwork, like tax stuff, and that's it.

In the Kitchen

Preparing simple meals is another way to help get dinner on the table when you are not motivated to cook. Here in the South, we call it a meat and two. A main dish, which could be as easy as a rotisserie chicken, and two sides, like sweet potato and broccoli. Roasted pork tenderloin, BBQ chicken on the outdoor grill (no dishes!), sheet pan dinners (use parchment paper, crinkled up and then smoothed out to stay flat), and crock pot recipes (use a crock pot liner), all make meals come together much quicker. Frozen rice and frozen vegetables are great and are real food, with no salt or preservatives added for a healthier side dish.

And don't be afraid to use disposables. These days, we use paper plates and bowls more often than not. I even use aluminum foil pans to cook meats and side dishes to help cut down on dishes. Believe me, when you're not feeling well, there is nothing worse than dishes stacking up in the sink.

When you are dealing with cancer and other challenging health issues, the simpler, the better, with no guilt for using shortcuts.

Getting Out of the House

Finally, when you feel like you can't even start the day, get yourself up and get out. Nature helps. It helps you breathe better, and it helps you get some exercise, which is right up there with healthy eating as a way to make you feel better overall. Go for a walk or get out and drive. We often get "lost" and then use the GPS on my phone to find our way home. You never know what kind of adventure you might have or what people or places you could come across, all from the comfort of your car.

One of our favorite things to do is to explore the neighboring little towns by car. If we see something interesting, we can park and get out; if not, we can people-watch as we drive by. These are all things you can easily do to help lift your spirits and make you feel like you're part of society instead of just sitting on the couch all day at the house.