I'M BACK WITH SOME IMPORTANT LESSONS I'VE LEARNED THIS MONTH

 

We packed up and put away the Christmas Tree and all the decorations a few days ago. Partly because every year, when I bring out the decorations, my asthma goes crazy from the dust, no matter how well we sealed it all up the previous year.

But mainly because it was the best Thanksgiving and early Christmas celebration of my life, and I wanted to leave it all on a high note. If this is my last, oh what a last one it was! Plus, as a side note, it's been nice these last few days not to have all the glitz and glamour and really focus on the reason for the season- Jesus' birth.

Since my brother was visiting, we put up all the decorations a few weeks before Thanksgiving, so this year was a combined event... it was glorious! And unexpected. Miraculous in many ways, as so many things are in our lives these days. The fact that I'm even writing to you after three months blows my mind. On the one hand, I'm a bit shocked that I'm still here, and on the other hand, I'm not shocked because I asked for this.

Asked for this?

Yesterday, I watched multiple videos from Joni and Friends on YouTube. Joni Eareckson Tada inspired me in my younger years, and I was reminded of her impact on those suffering from disabilities, pain, and other hardships while my brother was here.

I told my brother that my main worry is what will happen to my husband when I'm gone. My seriously wise and amazing (pastor) brother told me a story of when Joni visited an orphanage and brought about a hundred wheelchairs. As she arrived, several hundred kids came out to her hobbling, many crawling on their elbows in excitement to see her (ok, I'm not sure of the exact story, but you get the gist). Joni asked, who takes care of all these kids, worrying that they didn't have enough wheelchairs to go around? And the man in charge smiled and said, "God does."

God does. So simple yet so profound and a good reminder that no matter what situation we are in and no matter how much we are hurting or facing trials, God is in control and will take care of us more thoroughly, more lovingly, and more eternally than we ever could, ourselves.

A few more words stood out from Joni, including that she had asked God for Him to use her in a way that would make a huge impact. The next thing she knew, she had her diving accident at age 17 that immediately paralyzed her and left her disabled in a wheelchair for over 50 years.

Like Joni, I prayed fervently for a year before my cancer diagnosis that God would use me to help others come to Christ and that my relationship would grow stronger with Him.

If this is the case, and in my heart, I truly want to use my story, my strengths, and my God-given talents to bless others and grow closer to God, how could I ever look at my diagnosis with anything but acceptance and gratitude?

So, here I sit, with my cancer CEA numbers rising again and my liver now completely covered with new tumors, scared as I am human but in a far better place than I've been since my diagnosis. I found out yesterday from my latest CT Scan that my immunotherapy is not working as well now and I still don't really know what that means. And I'm still working on how I can truly make a difference in sharing the gospel with others, but as I've been reading in the book Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will by Kevin DeYoung, I'm going to do just that- do something!

I'm not going to spend weeks or months trying to discern God's will for my life; I will get busy now, especially as my time is limited. I will do what is right, even when it's hard, and follow what is written in Scripture while forging ahead. I will get back to writing in this blog, which makes me uncomfortable as it is so raw and vulnerable, and try to find my words even though I often lose them (chemo brain is a real thing!) I'll share my testimony with others even though I often become overcome with emotion and wonder why anyone would even care what I'm going through. And I will become less of a coward in the face of God's path for me.

So. today, let's pick a superhero in the Bible (or here in our current life) and be like her! Live like Joni Eareckson Tada. Live like Esther. Live like Ruth. Live like Hannah. Live like Patricia. Live like Mary. And so on, and so on.

Today, I'll pick Esther because, oh, how I long for the strength and courage of Esther.

These amazing stories of hope, faith, and perseverance (and I haven't even touched on the amazing men in the Bible yet) can help guide our path and inspire us to be who God created us to be, minus our fears, hangups, and sheer laziness.

I will live in a place of joy and peace through faith in Christ, accepting the diagnosis I've been given while doing the best I can along the way to remain faithful and know that God has my back (and His right arm protecting me).

Won't you join me in being brave? It will change your life, too. That, I promise you.

(Taken the week of Thanksgiving 2024 at our favorite local apple orchard. A little more wrinkled and worse for wear from the immunotherapy side-effects, but filled with joy and gratefulness because of our Lord and Savior and His love, blessings and promises for today and eternity.)